Robert A. Bianchi, Esq.
At the Bianchi Law Group, pride ourselves in achieving excellent legal results, but as equally important is helping our clients navigate through the losses and sufferings that being criminally charged presents. This is one reason we do an inspirational blog and have helpful resources on our website.
It is empowering when clients thank us for helping them through what is the worst period of their lives. And in truth, it helps us as we know that caring for them in this way is something no one can take away from them, or us.
I often ponder the sufferings of life and work consciously at seeing it from a distance to gain greater insights as to what it takes to live the most joyful life possible. I often lecture on gratitude practices and living in the present moment to the fullest as very workable solutions to many of our sufferings. That said, I have to work at it in a very conscious way as it is easy to slip into old habits if you are not on guard.
Unnecessary thinking for me is my worst enemy. I think it is a problem for many. So too, is being frustrated at little things you cannot prevent or control.
One of those little annoyances for me is navigating the streets of New York City, especially walking from Penn Station to the Law & Crime Network where I host a legal show. www.lawandcrime.com
During that few block walk, there are throngs of people, moving in all sorts of directions. What “maddens” me is that virtually many are looking down at their cell phones while walking. This causes them to wander off course, stop unexpectedly, and otherwise be oblivious to people and their surroundings. I literally saw a young woman hit by a car as she crossed the street against the light on a diagonal path while texting.
I find myself watching a wandering person looking at their cell phone and then abruptly and curtly say “Excuse me!” as they come into my path. As they jarringly come back to reality, I somehow feel that I communicated my displeasure at their folly and accomplished something. I do laugh at myself, however, as I swear each day that I will not do this, as I know in truth it really does nothing. But, I still can’t help myself.
I love the website “Word on Fire.” wordonfire.org is run by Bishop Robert Barron, a brilliant theologian and incredible communicator. His weekly homilies are a must hear for me, only about 14-15 minutes long.
The other day Bishop Barron gave a homily on Matthew 3:16-17. This is where God says of Jesus: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Bishop Barron (as many priests I have known throughout the years) states that this is how God looks upon all of us, despite our sinful ways, problems, and failures. It is a “primordial grace” given to us for no other reason than His love.
Okay, by now you are saying “Bob, what are you talking about with cell phones and quotes from the Bible?”
Well, I decided to play a game as I was walking in NYC the other day. Instead of an abrupt “excuse me!” when someone was walking into my path, that I would just think what God would tell me about that person–“This is my beloved son/daughter with whom I am well pleased.”
It is amazing when you dialogue in your head in a positive way how much of a difference it makes as to how you feel, act, and respond to others. I not only didn’t get agitated, I found myself smiling at my wayward walking brethren.
I realize not all people are religious and/or believe in God. Still though, I think this still applies. It is a recognition that we are all flawed, broken to some extent, and in need of love and affirmation. Knowing that we all are in the same boat as humans allows us to see ourselves in the other.
We live in a culture of separateness and anger. But in truth, we are all very much the same as to our basic humanness. So, thinking of it in this way allows us to give to the other a “break” when they do things that are annoying to us. If we wish those to understand and forgive our failures, mistakes, and weaknesses, then it is only fair and logical that we extend the same mercy to others.
As for me, I am trying this technique out in all other areas of my life when a person frustrates me over a minor thing.
I know there will be times that my reactions will get the better of me. But, I have come to learn that at least something is more than nothing, and that the evil of “perfection” is no longer a place I reside in.
So, just a little bit at a time is just fine. And to be sure, it adds up to a lot in the end!
Peace be with you!